Bridget Jones's Diary Script
BRIDGET: It all began on New Year's Day...
in my thirty-second year of being single.
Once again, I found myself on my own...
and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet.
Every year, she tries to fix me up...
with some bushy-haired, middle-aged bore...
and I feared this year would be no exception.
There you are, mpling.
BRIDGET: My mum--
a strange creature from the time...
when pickles on toothpicks...
were still the height of sophistication.
Doilies, Pam? Hello, Bridget.
Third drawer from the top, Una.
Under the mini gherkins.
By the way, the Darcys are here. They brought Mark with them.
BRIDGET: Ah, here we go.
You remember Mark.
You used to play in his paddling pool.
He's a barrister. Very well off.
No, I don't remember.
He's divorced, apparently.
His wife was Japanese. Very cruel race.
Now, what are you going to put on?
This.
MUM: Oh, don’t be silly, Bridget.
You'll never get a boyfriend...
if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz.
Now, run upstairs.
I've laid out something lovely on your bed.
Tsk. [Sighs]
ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: You're just too good to be true
Can抰 take my eyes off of you
BRIDGET: Great. I was wearing a carpet.
UNCLEGEOFFREY: There she is.
[Singing] My little Bridget
Hi, Uncle Geoffrey. Ha ha.
-Hmm. Had a drink? -No.
No? Come on, then.
BRIDGET: Actually, not my uncle.
Someone who insists I call him uncle...
while he gropes my ass...
and asks me the question dreaded by all Singletons.
UNCLEGEOFFREY: So...how's your love life?
Super. Thanks, Uncle G.
Still no fellow, then, eh? I don't know.
You career girls. Can't put it off forever.
UNA: Tick-tock, tick-tock.
-Hello, Dad. -Hello, darling.
How's it going?
Torture.
DAD: Your mother抯 trying to fix you up with some divorcee.
Uhh.
Human-rights barrister. Pretty nasty beast, apparently.
BRIDGET: Hoo. Ding-dong.
Maybe this time Mum had got it right.
Come on. Why don’t we see if Mark fancies a gherkin?
[Whispering] Good luck.
Mark?
BRIDGET: Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right...
I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet.
You remember Bridget.
BRIDGET: Maybe not.
She's used to run around your lawn...
with no clothes on, remember?
Uh, no, not as such.
Come and look at your gravy, Pam.
I think it's going to need sieving.
Of course it doesn't need sieving.
Just stir it, Una.
Yes, of course. I'll be right there.
Sorry. Lumpy gravy calls.
ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: Let me love you
[Sighs]
-So...ha. -So.
You staying at your parents' for New Year?
-Yes. -Mmm.
-You? -Oh, no, no, no.
I was in London at a party last night...
so I'm afraid I'm a bit hung over.
Wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet...
Like all normal people.
[Chuckles, sighs]
New Year's resolution-- drink less.
Oh, and quit smoking. Mmm. Ha.
-Oh. -Oh. Ha.
And keep New Year's resolutions.
Oh. And, uh...
stop talking total nonsense to strangers.
In fact, stop talking, full stop.
Yes, well, perhaps it's time to eat.
Mmm.
ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: I need you, baby
MRS. DARCY: Apparently...
she lives just 'round the corner from you.
Mother, I do not need a blind date.
Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster...
who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish...
and dresses like her mother.
Yummy.
Turkey curry.
My favorite.
BRIDGET: And that was it. Right there.
Right there. That was the moment.
I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon...
I was going to live a life where my major relationship...
was with a bottle of wine...
and I'd finally die fat and alone...
and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs.
Orl was about to turn into Glenn Close...
in "Fatal Attraction."
JAMIEO'NEAL SINGING: All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
VOICE: You have no messages.
[Guitar plays]
JAMIEO'NEAL SINGING: When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making' love was just for fun
Those days are gone
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
Ohh
Ohh
Oh-oh-oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live...
BRIDGET: And so I made a major decision.
I had to make sure that next year...
I wouldn't end up shit-faced and listening to sad FM...
easy-listening for the over-thirties.
I decided to take control of my life...
and start a diary...
to tell the truth about Bridget Jones...
the whole truth.
邮箱我也已经给你发过去啦哈哈~
